Fever saves the day

So, Annie spiked a fever. This ended up being a blessing in disguise. The antibiotics have finally broken through and her breathing has made dramatic improvements. This is a real relief since the heavy meds didn't really seem to be having a large impact. Whew.

Let go, let God.

It's been a tough week. Annie's breathing continues to be strained and the meds we were giving her just weren't kicking it. She is now on her third day of the tougher steroids and, when you are in it this deep, it's just hard to tell how much she is improving. I just can't believe this is happening in August. It's going to be a long winter.

Last week, I came home after a tough doc's appointment with Annie. The toughest part being the option I want, to find the miracle cure that will just make this all go away, doesn't exist. There isn't a miracle drug and we are resorting to doing our best. So, on the heels on this disappointing dose of reality, I run into our broker (oh yes, we're selling out apt) and strike up a conversation. She has been through some challenges of her own with their (not so little) guy and she is as equally Type A as I am. She shared that when things are tough, she resorts to this prayer/mantra/release: "Let go, let God". It has become something I have held on to tightly these past few days. I share it with all of in love and hope that perhaps we can all, event the Type As among us, release a bit of that fear to someone/thing greater and get on with the stuff that we can fix.

Honeymoon over?

Poor Annie developed a cough two weeks ago and it's getting increasingly worse. I think her (incredibly awesome) pediatrician nailed it today when she replied "crap" after I updated her on how Annie was doing. We are back on all of our meds and debating putting her on more. Since nothing really seems to be the slam dunk when she is having a tough time, I struggle with giving this little thing so much medication. It's a challenge but we continue to be so thankful for our ever-expanding team of docs and therapists who join us in routing Annie on to better health.

Despite this, Annie is her usual crazy self. She spent the day out in the sunshine at the summer house and is now cuddled with me on the couch trying to get some rest. It's been hard for her to lay down and sleep so I suppose I will accept the burdensome task of holding this sweet little girl and watching her sleep. Bummer.